Thanks, Ozzy.
The following paragraph is completely from a fat, white male’s point of view. No female was consulted or hurt in the writing of this paragraph.
Speaking of changes, the changes in your wife’s body can be somewhat disconcerting. I respect what she is going through and what lies ahead, but it still is just disarming when your wife’s gut sticks out further than mine. You can tell her breasts are converting, slow Transformers style, into a food delivery vehicle for the unborn child. This means they are not mine, anymore. Apparently, I must share them with the child. This is mildly disturbing to me. I guess I need to get used to the idea that I have to share these with my child, and that my child needs them to eat and grow (and most importantly, stop crying). This whole thing is just incredible. Thankfully, her appetite has been largely controllable and she has not been too emotional. In fact, I could make the argument that she is maybe 20% more emotional than normally is. (Why she isn’t crying each night when I come home, I still do not understand. Although, sometimes she is sleeping, which is a pregnant thing too.) Her nesting instinct is beginning to crop up more often, which means that my under-utility as a handy person the house is highlighted more and more, almost on a daily basis. But now, since her butt has a magnet that directs her to the couch without passing GO, I am expected to do all things inside the house. This includes, but is not limited to, vacuuming, playing with the dogs, getting her a glass of water every 20 minutes (I know it’s not actually that frequent, but she should drink more water), cleaning, moving things out of the baby’s room into the second bedroom, painting, picking up the poop in the backyard, cleaning the kitchen, doing the laundry, pay the bills and much other household drudgery that I cannot stand. Now, I will be the first to admit that I do not do a 50% share of the housework. Probably, on a good week, it is more like 75-25. So I am aware of my role increasing in the house. Somehow the expectation to go from 25 to 125% of the house work is a bit of a culture shock for me and severely cuts into my TiVo time. I need to find out what happens to Grissom this week on CSI. I am still adjusting to my new role in the house, but I know larger adjustments are in store.
UPDATE: Now that the date is much, much closer (less than 28 days until due date) and the creeping awareness that the baby will probably come early, I have slowly come to realize that I am looking forward to this change. This calamitous event that screws up my TiVo time is something I actually am anticipating. We see the light at the end of the tunnel for her pregnancy, but we're not sure what kind and how big the train is behind the light we see. Still, I can't wait to meet my son!
laters
cvz
Rebels by 10
