A Change Should Do Me Good?

“No one soul searches like Edward J. Stevens.” -Ed


Mike Greenberg is a sports radio talk show host and also anchors the early edition of SportsCenter on ESPN. He wrote a book “Why My Wife Thinks I’m an Idiot” that I picked up at Borders one day and just started reading. I happened to find the chapter on the day he and his wife found out they were having a baby. This was before my wife and I were trying, so I gave it a mindless read, without dissecting it or thinking that this was me. I know Greeny can be a little narcissistic, but his take as a guy on expecting a child is right on. After providing the sperm, the contribution from the father is purely optional. Getting ready for the baby has been a different experience. The behind of my wife is firmly embedded on the part of the sofa that she has inhabited since the diagnosis. This is not to say that my wife does nothing besides sit on the couch (that’s my normal position) and do nothing as soon as she is home. She routinely barks the orders and orders me around the room to do her bidding. Now part of me understands that the priorities in life are going to change. How they are going to change is what I’m just not sure about. This makes me think. Is a person really actually ready for bringing a person into this world? It is difficult to compare this to other really big milestone changes in life. I think I’ll try it anyway:

First day of high school? Forget it, my fate was sealed the day I wore a pair of gray Dockers and a button up shirt to school in the middle of August with all the other kids wearing t-shirts and shorts. (Yeah, also, I had marching band rehearsal in the morning before school that day. Nerd alert!)

First day with a driver's license? This worked out well for me, as my friends were forced to hang out with me so they could get a ride home. My first car was an Oldsmobile diesel powered Cutlass Calais. It was cool because I could shift into low gear while driving and emit a black plume of smoke behind me if someone was following too close.

First day of college? Actually, I enjoyed my first week on my own away from my parents. I had braces at the time and could not find an orthodontist in town that didn’t want to charge us for thousands of dollars more than we had already paid, so I had the benefit of coming home every few weeks to get my teeth done during my freshman year. Because of this (or perhaps in spite of it), my adjustment went pretty well. Not well enough, however because as soon as I graduated from college, I found myself back home with the parents for awhile.

First day of marriage? Apparently, I survived this as well, for the mother of my unborn child is still around (although I’m still not sure how I pulled that one off) and now four years later, we are expecting our first child together (which of itself is amazing!).

I will revisit this a few months after the birth of my son (which still feels weird to say) and see how I have adapted to this latest change. My prediction? I will fight it, as I fight all change at first, then gradually accept it as change slowly washes over me and I come to the realization that life will never again be the same and yearn for the good ol’ days when I had no responsibility. (Remember when you graduated high school and thought you knew everything?) As the day gets closer, I'm sure I will feel the need to ruminate again on my lot in life and the poor, poor boy I am bringing into it.

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Could it be any more boring?

San Antonio will finish off the Cleveland Cavaliers tonight in Game 4. Does anyone actually care? Everyone knows the NBA title was decided when Dallas lost in the first round, leaving the winner of the Spurs-Suns series in the conference semifinals as the championship round. This is not David Stern's fault. The playoffs do not need to be re-wired as a result of what happened this year. The NBA got its wish by getting LeBron in their showcase earlier than projected. However, the combination of a relentless Spurs team on defense and poor showings from the supporting cast that has shrunk from the largest stage has left the NBA finals with the lowest ratings ever.

Tim Duncan is the worst superstar ever. The guy is an amazing basketball talent. He lacks charisma, has the personality of a rock and as a result, never get his true due as a player in the league. The Spurs team is too international to appeal to the rest of America. Even Desperate Housewives fans are sick of seeing Eva Longoria pant for her boy each time he does something on the court. Tony Parker is a French guy who looks like he puts up drywall on his days off. Fabricio Uberto is from Argentina. Who knew there were tall people in South America! He needs to spend at least as much time at the hair salon as on the basketball court. Get a haircut! I remember when the Spurs drafted a guy named Emmanuel Ginobili. Everyone was wondering what they were doing. He learns how to make a scoop shot and all of a sudden he's Manu Ginobili! He's too good for his full name, we need to shorten it, much like Predrag Stojakovic became Peja Stojakovic after he learned to make a three point shot. Gimme a break!!
Who in America would like these guys? Nobody, the Finals are drawing the lowest ratings ever.
Just like how nobody actually reads this....

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